You're Welcome, Mr Motorist

You’re welcome Mr. Motorist. I’m happy that my mode of transportation has allowed more space on the road for you to get to your destination more efficiently.

One less car on the road to get in your way and increase congestion, right?

It’s my pleasure. It really is.

Remember the construction that was happening on your main commuting route last summer? I know, that was quite the drag.

You don’t need to thank me for putting very little wear and tear on our streets. I know it prolongs our roads and avoids those pesky construction delays, but don’t mention it. Seriously.

And oh those health care costs. Did you know that heart disease and strokes are two of the top three causes of death in Canada? In America, cardiovascular diseases and stroke cost an estimated $475.3 billion in 2009.

Isn’t it great that my commute helps keep me healthy so I can help reduce our health care costs? I would hate to be a burden on your pocketbook.

And how about those gas prices? Isn’t it wonderful that my bicycle doesn’t require gasoline? It’d be a shame if I contributed to increasing demand for fuel - driving gas prices even higher.

You don’t deserve that Mr. Driver. You deserve inexpensive fuel.

And what’s the deal with those downtown parking spaces? Those parking attendants are borderline criminal.

As if you don’t already pay enough for insurance, gasoline, repairs, registration, and maintenance for your car. Those parking guys want to charge you $20 a day to park your car? It’s criminal I tell ‘ya.

So it’s a good thing I’m not taking up those precious spaces. I’d hate for you to be late for a meeting while trying to find a parking spot for your car.

There’s no need to thank me for helping to pay for those free parking spaces at the local grocery store, either. I know, I know – that land wasn’t cheap for the grocery store to buy so that you could park your car there for free.

But I’m happy to do my part to subsidize those parking spaces for you – consider it a little gift from me to you.

Don’t bother thanking me for all the time I spend advocating for better bike infrastructure, either. I know, it will benefit both of us – it will keep me out of your way so you can get to your destination without being impeded by me, and it will also make me more predictable so you don’t have to be distracted by me while you’re on your phone. It’s a win-win situation, right? But no need to mention it, I’m cool with it.

You also don’t need to thank me for subsidizing the construction and maintenance of our city streets through the taxes that I pay. Yes, it’s true that less than 1% of those roadways that we both pay for are designed for bicycles, but that’s no fault of yours Mr. Driver, so no need to thank me for putting up with this.

It’s just one of those sacrifices that we as citizens make for each other – no need to thank me at all.

But I will ask one thing from you Mr. Motorist. It would be great if you could be a bit more cautious when you’re driving around me.

If you could do me that one favour, I’d be more grateful than you will ever know.

James D. Schwartz is the editor of The Urban Country. You can contact James at james.schwartz@theurbancountry.com.

I'm laughing because it's completely true. Original here.

Sunday Post

Hey folks. Smaller post picture-wise for y'all today; I went and caught Fish & Bird at the Fort Cafe this night (it's about 1:30 AM as I'm writing this) and suffice to say, I'm too sleepy and too beered-up to rummage around for more pictures than these five I already had shortlisted. Thus, awesome videos at the end to make up for it.

Sneak peak into the next couple weeks: T-minus sixteen days - I'm voluntarily hurling myself into Langley. Who'da thunk it. See ya then.







Here you go, Becca. I've finally decided that I should go to France sometime.



This guy, Rémi Gaillard, is a bit of a legend apparently. Almost all his videos (over a hundred) have well over a million or even two million views. He's completely insane and I can't get over it. Do yourself a favour and watch as much of his stuff as you can.

Grandpa Chic

Grandpa Rocks Pedestrian Zone brought to you by VideoBash.com

I have seen the future, and it's busking in Paris with a big beard.
And when the people start dancing during "Blue Suede Shoes," well, hell. That's Music, folks. Capital M.

Everything's Amazing and Nobody's Happy

Got this passed along to me - said it brought me to mind.

I can see why. So great, and so very very true.

On Differences Of Ideals:

Dad: How's the bike doing?
Alex: Pretty good; I haven't taken the bus once yet, so yeah, it's running good.
D: Well, just make sure you check up on the brakes and everything now and then.
A: Yep, I know. Full tune-up at most of the shops is around sixty or seventy bucks, and I can do the brakes and stuff myself too, so I'm not worrying about it.
D: Well, just remember that for the same price as a few tune-ups, you can just get rid of your old bike and buy a new one, right.
A: ......

We.... have some difficulties sometimes.



Felt like sharing a little more about my place. This is our dining "room;" I took the picture a few weeks ago cause the sun was coming through the window in a magical way.



I love our kitchen table. Basically, our suite is just a big (and awesome and bright) hallway that wraps around the center of the house, and the kitchen and dining room make up one of the sides of the square. The whole front of the house sports a massive window, and so does the northwest corner of the suite, which is the kitchen table's corner; suffice to say, the whole place is always bright and we get some positively beautiful lighting sometimes.

It's also fabulous for people watching, and we've vicariously adopted the cat that is always in the apartment window across the street at breakfast time. We have named him Charles Mortimer. He is chubby.

Quote of the Week (so far)

"Man, WCB would have a field day with that. I mean, where the hell would you file 'some crazy girl walked in and kicked me in the tits?'"

I think I like my new roommates and the people they're friends with.

Sorry

Sorry to whoever might be offended by this, but

I lol'd.



I never thought about this either, but he's got a good point. Great one-panel, and the comment about Revelations being a survival-horror game was just too good.